Monday, January 31, 2005

I'm sick of waiting

Let's just state the obvious right up front: waiting rooms suck! There. I said it. Hey, that actually felt pretty good. Let me try that again but this time with a little more oomph: WAITING ROOMS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! Ahh. Much better. Yes, we all hate to wait but where I get confused is how is it that we'll sit in that waiting room at the doctor's office for an hour and a half even though we have a RESERVATION. If the doctor will see me for my 1:00 appt at 2:30, then why not just make me a 2:30 appt in the first place? Wouldn't that be the best solution for everyone? But it's always the same excuse: "We're sorry but we're all backed up. Please have a seat and we'll call you when we're ready." You'll call me when you're ready? Thanks but how about when I'm ready? Don't they realize after years of always being backed up by 1-2 hours every day that they've got a wee bit of a scheduling problem? It's bizzarre. It's like they wake up every morning and forget everything that happened the day before. Anybody see the movie "Groundhog Day"? Anyway, what really scares me is the doctor who is going to knock you unconscious, rip open your chest and perform a quadruple bypass is the same doctor that can't even schedule his own day. Go figure.

But here's the part I really really can't stand. As if waiting in a room full of sick patients for a couple of hours isn't enough excitement for one day, they have the audacity to call your name off the waiting list only to bring you into one of many examination rooms which is where the waiting really begins. It's unbelievable. I'm walking down this hallway where I'm counting at least seven or eight rooms before we arrive at my destination. I don't recall there being that many doctors at this office. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure it's just one. [Why the one doctor needs that many patient rooms is an enigma we'll never solve.] Anyway, by this point I'm starting to have flashbacks of Disney line hell. Except at least in a Disney line you're always moving, albeit slowly, so as to present the illusion of getting closer to your end point. Whereas at the doctor's office you just sit on your ass and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. And those receptionists aren't exactly innocent bystanders. They know exactly what's going on. And you just know you're in trouble when they call your name and add: "You might want to bring that magazine with you." Oh boy. Here we go again...

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