I hate Safeway
The big grocery chain up here is Safeway. For the last few years they've tried to put on a customer friendly face and I can't take it anymore. It's way over the top. Here are the two policies I hate the most. Let's say you're looking for something - cereal for example. So I go up to one of these Safeway workers and ask where I can find the cereal. The exchange goes exactly like this:
Safeway:"It's on aisle 6 on the right hand side toward the beginning of the aisle".
Me: "O.K. Got it. Thanks."
Safeway: "Would you like me to show you?"
I swear to God - they offer to take you there EVERY SINGLE TIME! What the hell is up with that? Am I a moron? Do I look like a moron? Or perhaps they think I'm blind? Could that be? Either that or the cereal must be camouflaged. You've told me the aisle number, the side of the aisle and the precise location within the side of the aisle and you're asking me if I need you to take me there? You've just given me idiot proof directions but you're wondering if I'll make it on my own? Not to mention that once you get to aisle 6, it's next to impossible to miss the cereal. It's EVERYWHERE!!! I couldn't miss it if I wanted to. And once is in a while you get one of these super annoying, over-eager worker bees who can't take no for an answer. They ask me if they can show me the way and I say no. Then they say they'll show me anyway. I again say no thanks. They're like "Hey, it's no problem. I'm happy to help. Just follow me." And before I can utter my third "no" they're already walking toward aisle 6. I get so disgusted that at the last minute I try to lose the guy by making a hard left at aisle 5. Next thing you know, as I'm halfway down aisle 5, I hear this loud voice yell out: "HEY SIR! YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! THE CEREAL IS ON THE NEXT AISLE! FOLLOW MEEEEEEEE!"
The next vexatious part of Safeway experience in the checkout policy. They ring you up, bag your groceries, take your credit card and then study the receipt really closely to they can make an attempt at your name:
"Thank you Mr.... Let's see here... Hmmm... Mr. Zeewig? Or is that Swag? Mr Swag?" "Or maybe Sweg?"
"No, it's Zweig."
"Swige? Is that it?"
"No, Zweig. Zweig with a Z."
"Oh, I see. Zeeweig. Like that?"
"NO! Just Zweig."
"O.K. I got it. Have a nice day Mr. Sweig."
Don't they get that the whole point of saying your name is to act like you actually know the person whose name you're saying? They're obviously trying to convey that friendly neighborhood grocery of the 50's type of feeling but it's NOT WORKING PEOPLE!"
So I grab my bags in disgust and turn toward the door when I hear one final: "Can I help you to your car?"