Friday, February 18, 2005

When the lights go down

Why is it we're so damn scared of the dark? It's 5 minutes till midnight and just as you're falling off to sleep, you hear this creaking noise on the other side of the house. Every frightening horror movie you've ever seen comes back to you in a flash. Is it Freddie? Jason? The exorcist? Your mind races. So what do you do? Do you pump your fists a couple times, work up a steaming rage, grab the nearest bat (what, you don't keep a bat lying underneath your bed?) and head straight to the source on a mission to protect your family and rid this intruder from the premises? HELL NO! You do what any rationale human being does: you pull the sheets over your eyes and pray that it can't find what it's looking for and goes away. So you just lie there under the sheets wide awake and pissing your pj's. And you pray and pray and pray.

Then the next thing you know, it's morning. The sun is out, the house is all lit up and now everything's o.k.. See, this is the part I can never understand. When the lights are out, you're scared shitless over the bogeyman with the butcher knife in one hand and a chainsaw in the other creeping steadily toward the bedroom where you await your doom. But during the day, you couldn't care less. If I heard a noise in my house at about noon, I wouldn't even hesitate to march right toward the source. Heck, I wouldn't even need to be armed. In fact, it wouldn't even phase me if it was the bogeyman with a freak show face, torn and bloodied clothes, mangled fingers and a death devise in either hand (and bad breath - for some reason I always picture these horror film characters with stinky mouth). I'd just walk right up to him, punch him in the face, kick him in the balls and yell at the top of my lungs: "GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE YOU UGLY SMELLY BASTARD OR I'LL CONTINUE TO BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!" No problem. If he wouldn't leave on his own, I'd pick him up and toss him out. Then I'd go right back to what I was doing without missing a beat.

Does this make any bit of sense? Of course not. That's what's so bizarre about it. As if their weapons don't work during the day? We're somehow invincible in the light but scaredy cats in the dark? It's like darkness is our kryptonite. All our powers disappear come sunset. Maybe I should just pack up and move to Finland - Land of the Midnight Sun.

1 Comments:

At 4:18 PM, Blogger Red Tail said...

Humans have the same night-day schedule as other primates. All their (and our) predators usually hunt during the night. SO, we are more afraid of darkness than we are of light.

 

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